Close Quarters
by eoloveeo
Summary: When a bouquet of flowers come for Olivia the note inside puts everyone on high alert and Olivia needs to lay low for a couple days, what happens when Elliot volunteers Olivia to stay at his house for the week. EO fan fic but DO is mentioned a lot!
1. Chapter 1

Close Quarters

When a bouquet of flowers come for Olivia the note inside puts everyone on high alert and Olivia needs to lay low for a couple days, what happens when Elliot volunteers Olivia to stay at his house for the week. EO ff but DO is mentioned A LOT!

Sunday, February 14, 2009

Bull pin

*Doink. Doink*

"Alright people," Cragen announced "if you want to get home to your loved ones tonight on Valentine's then get all your DD5's on my desk."

Everyone around me suddenly got quiet; they couldn't wait to get home. I got up and walked over to John's desk, I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be here alone tonight.

"Hey Munch," I sat on the edge of his desk and he held up a finger signaling me to wait a moment, "Okay,"

John looked up from his papers "Yes, Olivia?" John had a smug smile on his face as if he already knew we were going to be dinner partners tonight, we had been for the past eleven years.

"Just wondering where you want to order from tonight?" I returned the smiling bearing my teeth.

"Ganaro's Pizza or Hung's Chinese cafe?" He looked up at me from his dark glasses.

"Surprise me," I chewed on my lip for a second, "but don't put anything freaky like mushrooms or pineapple on it."

I walked to my desk and started to look though my cases, I didn't have a lot to do I wasn't the primary on most cases. The hours flew by and Fin was the first to leave then followed Briscoe, Johnson, Cleaver, and last but not least Ryder. Elliot, John, Cragen and I were left and Elliot hadn't been procrastinating he just had a lot of cases and it was already 5:30.

"Damn it!" Elliot grumbled, "Liv, I will pay you a million dollars if you do my paper work for me, please?"

I could see the pleading in his eyes but I hadn't been on the cases he had left and I certainly couldn't forge his signatures on all the paper work we'd get both our asses handed to us. "El, you don't know how much I wish I could but…"

John interrupted, the last thing he was doing was ordering pizza, and he probably wanted to know if I wanted something to drink.

"What, John?" I spat, my gaze never left Elliot's pleading eyes.

"I thought you didn't have anyone you were going to see tonight."

I turned around "What, it's just you and me tonight with a pizza with apparently everything on it. What do you mean?"

John was tapping his foot like he was waiting for someone, "That's what I mean!" He was hinting to the delivery boy who now walked though the door with a bouquet of at least a dozen roses.

"Are you Olivia Benson?" The delivery boy asked, he couldn't be more than 20

"Yeah, who are these from," I didn't have a boyfriend or some who I was interested in, well I was interested in someone but he wouldn't never noticed me as a lover.

"I'm assuming your boyfriend...or girlfriend if your door swings that way." The ignorant boy smirked at his nasty joke.

"Well," Elliot butted in "what does the card say?"

"Sorry, sir, it's against policy to look at it. My boss says you can get jammed up by the fuzz if you read the cards, his words not mine."

John paid the kid and we looked at the card, it read:

_My Sweet, My love. Goodbyes are hard to say but I would like to break off our engagement. How could you cheat on me like that, not even caring if you got caught? No worries, your government friend is safe with me. At least until he wakes up. You're next; you'll have to pay the price, If not with tears than blood. Watch your back; you might wake up with a knife in it. With love, and sorrow your true one and only._

I reread the note over and over. Elliot's face was pale white and John kept trying to say something but the word's wouldn't come. I got scared and tried to think who this creep was, I walked into Don's office with out even knocking.

"Olivia," He stood up, startled, "what's up?" I walked up to Don's desk and handed him the card. His face looked paler than Elliot's "You might wake up with a knife in it? What the hell Olivia?"

"I know Capt, I normally wouldn't admit this out loud but I'm scared out of my mind."

Cragen walked out into the bull pin "John, call forensics do not touch that vase one more time. Elliot, why the hell are you still here?" Don didn't pause for an answer and turned towards me "Do you have anywhere you can go, Simon's house?"

I shook my head "Simon and I are… estranged, ever since April 07 he hasn't talked to me, he wrote me a letter saying it would probably be best for me to stay away, I could check into a hotel."

"No, Olivia, I want you safe and I don't think the station is the best place for you to be."

Elliot stood up, "You could stay at my house for awhile. I'm sure Kathy wouldn't mind. Especially tonight we wouldn't have to pay Dickie and Lizzie twenty bucks [b]each[/b] to baby sit Eli and they can go hang out with their friends, I think they want to go see a movie at nine."

"Are you sure, El?" I didn't want to impose, especially tonight.

"Yeah, just let me clear it with Kathy, I'm positive she will not mind." Elliot flashed his 'everything will be just fine' smile and went down the hall for a couple minutes and I went to the locker room to get some spare clothes I had laying around.

I walked in and John was at his desk still doing his DD5's but working at a much faster pace because now he was going to be alone tonight. Elliot had come back in and was talking to Cragen because Kathy didn't want a guest for more than three days, I came in right after he said that and replied "Fish and guests stink after three days."

Cragen smiled a weak smile, "Watch out for tails and please, Olivia, don't do anything stupid."

I smiled a reassuring smile, "Wouldn't dream about it."

"Uh-huh." Cragen sneers

Elliot pats my arm, "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Oh Hidden Magic! I love pineapple on my pizza! My friend (who I was texting at the time) we complaining to me that her step dad was making pineapple pizza and I thought it would be cute to add to the story. I knew someone would have something to say about that!**

We talked about everything under the sun on the way home. How Lizzie was starting to be looked at by major drama universities, the good thing about it they wanted to give her full rides, Maureen was starting to get very serious with her boyfriend I hummed a few bars of the wedding march to see if Elliot would squirm, Kathleen was finally straight after a few relapses, lastly the boys. Eli was just a normal two and a half year old, getting ready for pre-school and talking about how his friend from day-care who was 3 always had a blast. Now, on to the awkward topic of Dickie.

"So, how is you know…" I closed my eyes waiting for his answer.

"Well," Elliot took a big breath out as we started at the direction of his neighborhood, "If you're talking about what I think you're talking about, I am so sorry I never knew that he even was thinking that. If it makes you feel better I wanted to ground him for life, he had no right to say that to you and sorry if it in any way offended you." He sighed again, "Absurd."

I looked down then around then at Elliot again, I didn't think it was that absurd but he would never know that I thought that, "Well, is anything up with him? Sports, girls, what about these friends he wants to see tonight."

"Eh," We pulled into his driveway and he cut the engine, "He only had you-know-who so he's constantly hanging out with Liz's friends, she's the social butterfly out of the whole family."

I rubbed his shoulder, I couldn't even begin to explain how much I yearned to hold him. "Well we made it here in one piece, maybe it was an old perp who thought it would be funny to scare us."

We walked to the door and he put the key in it, "Yeah, but why would he go into such detail? Your government friend is safe with me? Liv, I know you're not on good terms with him now but you and I both know it's Porter."

Little did I know Kathy was already making up the couch and had heard the last part of our conversation, "What about Porter, isn't that the ass that got away with murder?"

I looked at Elliot for a moment, since when was he talking to Kathy about cases?, "Yeah, I'll tell you the details later." Elliot told her as he waved 'hi' to Eli in his play pin.

"Olivia, how are you?" The tone of Kathy's voice hinted that she wasn't very excited to see me, maybe the half burnt candles on the dining room table would be a hint.

"Okay under the circumstance, speaking of which nice to see you but it's not a very good reason." _stupid, stupid, stupid!_ I was babbling so I just settled on a half-assed hug.

"Oh, it's fine you practically are Eli's aunt. He loves you to death and we don't have to pay Dickie and Lizzie and they can go to the movies to see some random sappy romance comedy."

"HEY!" I heard a voice from upstairs holler at Kathy, "Mother! I told you it's the one movie that didn't look bad and plus there's nothing to do on Valentines day if you don't have a boyfriend!" I heard Lizzie thud her way down the stairs and jumped, skipping the last 2 steps, landing hard near the door.

"Easy!" Elliot called from the kitchen where he was making some food for Eli.

"Daddy!" Lizzie perked up, completely unaware of my presence, "you're home! I didn't hear you come in, where's Livy?"

_ God, why can't I have this, a house full of organized chaos, instead I get a valentine's day at my partners house hiding from a psycho that wanted to kill me_.

Elliot used the half of the banana he was cutting up to point my way, "There" he said and stuffed the rest in his mouth

"Oh, Olivia!" Lizzie came running over to me "I need your opinion, it's crucial!"

I smiled at the fact that I was needed even though that Lizzie's definition of crucial probably meant something along the lines of the choice of a very light red or dark pink shirt to wear under the sweatshirt she was probably going to wear after she gets too cold. "Well, you're mom could probably answer your question better than I could." I shrugged and looked at Kathy who looked as if she needed to pass out.

"Well no offense to my mother but if she could chose she'd keep me as a monk my whole life!"

"Monk-ette!" Elliot called from the kitchen which made me smile, remembering back so many years ago to the Quinn case.

"Well, what then?" I tried to sound very interested but I couldn't help to think about how it was funny that Elliot wasn't even in the same room but was apart of our conversation.

"Well, this really, really, really über cute guy named Carter is going to maybe show up, says Kat who invited him because she said he kind of-sort of likes me and I can't decide whether or not I should wear my blue jeans, grey skinny's, or just a pair of sweats to go with those NYPD sweats they give you, have you ever noticed that they're really, really warm **and** comfortable!?" Lizzie was talking a mile a minute and I noticed for the first time she was a pair of soffee shorts, now those are really comfortable.

"Well, sweetie, what shoes are you wearing," I laughed at myself, I remembered how I tried to ask my mom these things but by the time I was home from school she was buzzed and if it was a night I wanted to go out my mom would've been a lot more than tipsy by time I even considered getting dressed.

"Most likely my black boots, or my turtle converse!"

I smiled, I had picked out her shoes. Elliot was due in court and then had to go from there to Lizzie's sixteenth birthday party so he sent me out to the mall with his credit card and I bought them, they were really cute and screamed 'Lizzie', "Well, turtles should go with your blue jeans and boots with your skins or something."

Lizzie laughed and ran up the stairs with the slam of her door I heard a loud burst of music, such a girl.

"Well, Olivia," Kathy said as she tucked my duffel bag behind the coffee table, "The place of where we're going is on the fridge and you have the twins' numbers and, I think that's all you need. Of course you have Elliot's number and mine so we're good. No one's leaving for a while so do you want some dinner?"

I accepted and followed her to the kitchen, "So, we have a ton of take out, Pizza galore, and nothing to drink but tap water." Her voice went down at the end of the sentence, something was wrong, "Elliot, _your son_ drank out of the carton this morning, I think he might be picking up nasty habits from someone in this house."

I turned to see what Elliot was going to say, "Eli!" Elliot poked Eli in his stomach and Eli giggled, "What are you teaching your older brother?"

Kathy turned to me, "And you have to work with that man." Kathy turned and got down a plastic plate and cup, she had no idea that there was a drastic change between SVU Elliot and Dad Elliot.

"Oh, come on now!" Elliot teased, "Swap war stories later."

I was going to reply when **both** of our phones went off. We swapped looks and I flipped open my phone first, "Benson." My voice was shaky and I felt as if I was floating in zero gravity

"Olivia, does the name Clayton Gassette ring any bells?" It was John.

I thought about it for a moment, and sat down at the bar stool, _Clayton Gassette, Clayton Gassette_

"The only thing I could think of would be a collar from along time ago but how would he know about Porter? The scary thing about it would be how did he know we were doing that operation out of **my** apartment, he's got to have eyes somewhere."

"That's what we're thinking, we're tossing your apartment now. Just think Clayton Gassette."

"Clayton Gassette." I repeated kind of pissed that I had no idea who was stalking me, "I don't get it, I don't even know a Clayton and one wants to put a knife in my back," I had forgotten that I was in front of Kathy and I saw, out of the corner of my eye, her immediately flinch.

"Elliot," I heard her call, she was pissed.

I brushed it off, it could be a fight against them and I wasn't concerned.

"Wait a sec. Liv," John said very skeptical, well when wasn't John skeptical.

"What? Did you find something?" I stood up as if my reaction could hurry up what ever John was about to say.

"Under your couch, this might sound weird but do you own a rumba?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N A rumba is that little vacuum cleaner that cleans the floor all by itself! Where have you all been hiding, under a rock? :) **

"A what?" I asked, I wanted to say what the hell but I was alone with Eli and didn't want him 'picking up nasty habits'

"That's what I thought," I heard John shout 'bag and tag!' then a few seconds later say 'be careful, rookie!"

"I'm sorry John," I stammered "you're there tonight with a bunch of newbies and I'm at fault."

"Oh, hush it Olivia!" he argued "I'm not the one who needs to watch his back."

I was kind of getting tired of references to the note.

"Alright, we'll I'm going to let you go." I sighed and closed my phone after his goodbyes and warnings to stay safe.

I walked into the living room to see if I was needed and Kathy's face said it all, Elliot lied and I am pissed.

"Olivia," Kathy quibbled "Please tell me why you're here. I don't think phone calls at the exact same time and a reference to a knife in your back is exactly what a person who's apartment building is being fumigated would talk about."

I looked at Elliot, I had a million things I wanted to say to him but the only one that came to mind was "What the hell did you tell her?" I took a deep breath and decided that I didn't want to hear it from him. "Well, to sum it up in a sentence I have a stalker that wants to…"

"Stick a knife in your back and Porter's?" Kathy interjected.

"Well, he wants to stick a knife in **my **back and I have no idea what he's doing to Dean right now." When I said his name for some reason I wanted to cry, I had once loved this man, we weren't the best couple we had our problems but when he said my name back in Terri's apartment it took me back. Back to Oregon, back to knowing he was the only person there that knew who I was and feeling secure in his arms. I also remembered how I felt when I kissed him, I thought 'maybe we can make it work' it didn't matter that I was mad at him and was setting him up just then but he was the only (non-taken) man who was there for me; the worst part about seeing him leave me in the interrogation room was not the fact that he had indeed gotten away with murder but was the fact that he had told me straight out there was nothing between us.

"Olivia, I like you, you know I do but I cannot have you around my family when you have a stalker that wants to kill you! Look, I get what Elliot was thinking, my partner needs to be safe, how about in Queens where no one will think to look there but I think that you should just stay the night tonight and leave in the morning, please call Don."

I looked at Elliot one more time and turned to make the call, next thing I knew it was past midnight and someone was creeping down the stairs, I hadn't gone to sleep I was just counting every time their grandmother clock chimed.

"Liv!" I heard someone whisper, I was too out of it to know who, "Liv, are you awake?" It was Elliot.

"Oh, El, what's up?" I murmured

"Apparently you and me." He joked

"Very funny." I stuck my tongue out "Why are you up?"

"Oh, well I usually wake up at this time of night/day. I can never get back to sleep so I thought I'd check on you." He peered behind my back "All clear."

Elliot was sitting next to me so I tapped his cheek jokingly as if I was slapping him. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, "El, don't tell anyone but, I'm scared. I went to bed two hours ago and just laid here, I can't get to sleep. I just keep thinking 'Clayton Gassette'"

Elliot hopped up for a couple of minutes just leaving me sitting there in my misery. He came back with two mugs one said 'World's Best Dad!' painted by Maureen as a fathers day gift so many years ago, before I even knew Elliot but I've heard the story so many times that I felt like I was there, the other a plain green mug (with hot water in it) with a red bow around it and a box wrapped up in pink heart paper.

"Shhh," Elliot put his finger to his lips, "I got everyone Valentines day gifts just in case we all had to work tonight and here's yours."

My face lit up and luckily it was dark and he couldn't see me blush, "Oh my gosh El." I already knew what the package would be, tea. I opened it and I could make out the words 'berry' and 'sampler' "Thank you! What did you get for John and Fin?"

"Well for the skeptical one, a book about UFO's and JFK and Elvis. It's by a comedian who is probably the only one person that is crazier than John. Then Fin, I really didn't know what to get him so I got him a picture frame and gave him a copy of the picture we took at the Christmas Party when he fell asleep and someone put some whipped cream on him, I think he'll love it."

"Or kill the person that took the picture."

We both laughed at the characters we worked with, "Elliot, can I tell you something."

Elliot turned towards me, he knew that I was going to say something serious, "Anything, you know that."

"I know when Porter left and got off Scot-free we both wanted to kill him but, when he left me just standing there the only thing that went though my mind was 'how could he leave **me**? How could he flirt with me, hell even kiss me and walk away with saying there's nothing between us? I know that I never talk about love at work because of what we see but, I've got to say maybe he was the _one_"

"Liv, there will never be the perfect one. Never the perfect person that you won't ever fight with, there will always be problems."

"But look at you and Kathy, besides the fact that you bicker **sometimes **you are still what I would consider the perfect couple, and your kids? They are so damn lucky. I wish I had this growing up maybe I wouldn't be here, hiding from a psycho, if I had a good environment growing up. It's times like these that I miss my mom." I sighed and Elliot rubbed my back.

We heard some creeping on the stairs and I freaked out, I'd been a little jumpy since I'd gotten that damn death threat.

"Oh, sorry." The figure said, it was Kathy. "I was looking for Elliot and figured he went down stairs when I smelled the coffee and then heard my name, again sorry."

I smiled at her though the darkness and highly doubted that she saw it, "It's fine, we're just talking come on down." I scooted over and Elliot followed as we made room for Kathy.

"So, take me up to speed. I heard Kathy and then 'miss my mom'"

Kathy had been there for me when my mom died, Elliot and I hadn't been as close as we are now and Kathy, being a woman, just helped a lot.

"Well we were talking about whether or not there is such a thing as a one, I think there is but Elliot, being Elliot says there is no such thing, nobody's perfect."

I could see Kathy purse her lips while she was thinking, "I think that there could be the one but not on it's own. People have to work to make things perfect. Who do you think your one is?"

I wanted to say Elliot but I suppressed that thought and just laughed, "It'll sound stupid but, Porter. I'm assuming Elliot came home and was ranting about him a couple weeks ago." I paused for her answer, but nothing, "I knew him back in Oregon he'd been my case handler and something about him struck me, we had the friendship level of Elliot and me and the for the attractiveness, the only couple cuter than us would be you and El."

"Thanks!" Kathy piped

I laughed and continued even though I was in pain for even saying that, "And on that last case I hadn't seen him in so long and he was like a breath of fresh air, but when he left I couldn't breath and I told Elliot that when Cragen gave us the order not to arrest him I should've been pissed at him for getting away with murder but I was more mad that he said there was nothing between us, and now some psycho thinks that I'm dating the man and is probably going to kill him!" I didn't know where that last thing came from but that's when it hit me, some psycho is probably going to kill him, the man I thought I could love more than Elliot. I tear fell down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away, the action went unnoticed by Kathy but Elliot looked at me and though the darkness I could tell he wanted to hug me with out the risk of being bitched out by his wife.

"Well, I just wanted to see what Elliot was doing. Olivia, maybe I was too hasty to judge the situation earlier, you can stay here as long as you want to."

I was going to thank her when my phone rang. I looked at Elliot and got tense all of a sudden, what could this call be about.

I answered my phone, my voice full of worry and uneasiness, "Benson."

"Ahhh, Olivia." The voice on the other end was scratchy and sounded twisted.

"Clayton?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Clayton?" My voice was filled with uneasiness and I'm pretty sure he could tell.

Elliot straightened up and shifted his weight so he was looking at me full on, his eyes full with worry, "Gassette?" He whispered and I nodded.

"Clayton, my love!" I quickly began the role as loving fiancée which made my stomach turn.

"Shut up you bitch!" He screamed. I saw Kathy shift in her seat, she had heard. "How the hell did you think you would get away with cheating on me!?"

I took Elliot's phone from him and dialed Cragen's number then gave the phone back to Elliot.

"I'm sorry, Clayton! I am very sorry!" I could tell by the way Kathy was acting she had no experience in dealing with crazy people.

"No you're not, Bitch. I have someone I want you to talk to." I heard the phone being messed around with then a beep, the speaker was on.

Elliot had given me a thumbs up that he was talking to Cragen "Capt, we've made contact with Gassette, trace Liv's cell." he paused and then said "Good, bye."

Back on my end I head Gassette say 'speak you worthless bastard!' then a hoarse voice say "Olivia?"

"Dean," I whispered and Kathy scooted in closer, I had no idea what she thought about this, "Dean where are you."

"Shut up, don't answer that!" Gassette yelled at him."

"Nowhere, Olivia what the hell is going on, I had no idea that you were _engaged_" I could tell he was playing along in Gassette's sick fantasy world.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this Dean," I tried to swallow the words I was about to say but they came up anyway, "I should've never been unfaithful to Clayton. He was the best and I shouldn't have taken him for granted."

Elliot came back into the room and said whispered "we got it, cut off when you're ready."

"Clayton, what do you want from me?" My voice was trembling and I hadn't been this scared since Harris in the basement at… I closed my eyes.

"Oh Olivia my sweet, haven't you read my note? Oh well, I couldn't put everything on the little card but I can tell you right now. I want to pull the knife out of my back that you used to stab me with and stab you over and over, when the M.E examines your body, after they fish it out of the Hudson, there will be so many incisions they couldn't count it all. I plan to take prizes, of course how silly of you to think I wouldn't. I can't decide though post or pre_** mourdom**_?"

I shuttered, "Post of course, there would too much of a mess to clean up before my heart stops." I looked at Kathy who looked at me like I was insane.

"Oh, my sweet you are so right! I was going to give you so much on our wedding night but you had to cheat, didn't you?"

"I know, I had something good going. You'll just have to…_teach me a lesson_" I didn't want to think about the upcoming rapes I would endure if this guy got a hold of me, "So, tell me more about what you are going to do…"

"Silly girl! I'm not going to tell you all now, element of surprise my love. Goodbye Olivia."

The line went dead, I didn't bother to close my phone I just let it drop to the floor. Kathy was still sitting there in shock, the moonlight had shifted and was coming though the window I saw tear stains on her cheeks.

"Liv," Elliot whispered "what the hell was that freak saying."

"He want's to take prizes, El."


	5. Chapter 5

Kathy was still sitting there in shock, the moonlight had shifted and was coming though the window I saw tear stains on her cheeks.

"Liv," Elliot whispered "what the hell was that freak saying."

"He want's to take prizes, El."

"And less blood pools on the chest…"

Kathy didn't understand what we were talking about it, we had at least a dozen cases in 6 months where the perp has mutilated the breasts and taken them as prizes, biggest mistake once you're found with a woman's breasts you can count on life in Sing Sing or Attica

"And Dean, he sounded bad. I can't even imagine what he's done to him so far."

Kathy apparently couldn't handle what we were saying but I bet she figured out what you have to cut off for the blood to pool because she made her way to the bathroom.

"What were you saying about teaching you a lesson?"

I closed my eyes, I could hear the night stick rattle the chain link fence, I was in the fetal position hiding behind a bunch of wooden crates, 'You want to play a game? I know all of them.' I remember the feel of the cold, metal cuff as he hooked it to the door and then it tried to force his… 'Oh God.' was all I was thinking as I bit my lip trying to delay him from doing the inevitable. "Liv, did that bastard rape you?" My reply was the hardest thing I've ever said, "It's the closest I've ever come."

"Liv…Liv…LIV!" Elliot had been shaking me

I jumped and my heart started to race, "Oh, sorry El." Kathy was out of the bathroom already.

"Liv, what were you saying about teaching you a lesson?"

"Nothing, I just don't want another Harris situation." After I'd said that I'd forgotten that I hadn't told anyone but Fin about what Harris almost did. Shit!

"What? Liv, I thought you said nothing happened in that basement?"

Kathy, who I was starting to get pissed at because she was hearing way more than I really wanted her to hear, came over trying to catch up in a few minutes that took **her** husband and me over 11 years to accomplish.

"What!?" Kathy gasps.

"Because nothing did happen, El, Fin stopped Harris before he could do anymore damage."

"Liv, you've got to tell me every that's going on, I can't be left in the dark." At that moment I saw Elliot's face go blank as he realized the horrible truth. "T-t-that's what the IAB guy meant when he was interrogating you, PTSD, that's why you almost shot that guy last winter, it's because of that bastard isn't it?"

Elliot had finally reached my innermost darkest secrets that no one except me knew, he was finally on the same page on the same damn, scary page.

"Elliot, I don't want to talk about it right now, it's almost one and right now I've got a crazy stalker that wants to rape then mutilate me and it doesn't help reliving something that I've put in past and so should you. Harris is an ass and yeah he's out already but I don't think he'll rape anymore inmates. Not after what I did to him." I shuttered as I thought of that dirty, old mattress. I thought of all the inmates before me and I held my breath. Just maybe if I close my eyes tight enough I won't hear anymore clangs of metal or the haunted sound of my muffled cries for help and just maybe I'll be able to forget Harris and possibly even Gassette.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up around 5:45 I got up and the couch was soaked, as was my shirt. "Damn it!" I hadn't had a nightmare in a very long time, just flash backs. I took a look around and almost screamed when I saw Elliot sitting in the lazy boy.

"El," I whispered trying to get his attention, "Elliot! Did you stay there all night?"

Elliot looked up from where his head had been in his hands, "I told you I could never go back to sleep after midnight," Elliot shook his head, "You said Harris at least twenty times, Stop at least a hundred no joke, and Help me a total of fifteen, I don't even want to tell you how many times you said oh God please help me, _Elliot._"

I looked down in shame, my white t-shirt was sticking to my back, "Look Elliot, I hadn't had a nightmare in what seems like forever."

"Except you had one last night. I heard every word you said, you talk in your sleep when your at the cribs just dreaming normally, a nightmare is always ten times worse. So, Liv, tell me about the mattress, what games did Harris want to play with you. Because that's the closest you've ever gotten!"

"Elliot!" I half yelled, but minding the sleeping children upstairs, "What happened to not blaming the…"

"Go ahead Olivia, say it, say the word. I know you're one. You were a VICTIM of a heinous crime and Harris should pay for it. Yeah, he did time for the original collar but why not tack on sexual assault instead of assaulting a police officer? Liv, if Fin hadn't of found you in time what would he have done to you? Raped you with out using protection? Possibly killed you, Liv I would've expected more of you."

I sat there for a moment, my tea was still on the table from last night. The night Gassette had called, telling me that he was going to rape me and stab me millions of times, then cut my breasts off and keep them as trophies only to dump my body in the Hudson, there is no way Elliot could understand what I was going though, I can barely convey it myself.

"You want the truth, El? Here's the truth, Harris took me down to that basement after the riot, he beat the shit out of me I got a few punches in myself, you saw his face, then I got free and hid. Every time I close my eyes I can hear his baton rattling that chain fence, I can hear him taunting me as if he was having fun and wanted me to come out and play. Once he found me he chained me up and tried to…" I took a deep breath in, I've never told the whole story aloud before, "Force himself in my… mouth and I got the information we needed to get the collar for Ashley and-"

Elliot cut me off, "I don't want the cop version, Liv, I want the 'what happened version.'" Elliot was quick to sugar coat the 'V' word

"Well," I took another breath, "He tried to get me to… you know and then Fin came. That's the story and it was in the past so let's move on."

"Liv," Elliot whispered, "What did Gassette say? What did Gassette want to do, Cragen got their location last night but do you think he's still out there, do you think that he's going to…you know?"

A light flicked on upstairs and flooded the main floor, someone was up and I didn't feel like talking anymore. No matter how much I hung around Elliot's family no one could understand me as much as Elliot.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN, so I'm trying to post this whole story before 2010 so lucky you...You get one chapter a night! I'm finished writing and this is chapter 7 out of 16 so...  
**

The person trampled down stairs and bounced on to the foyer, it was Lizzie, "Oh Dad, Liv, I didn't know you'd be up. Just ignore me." Lizzie smiled. I remembered girls like her in high school, they always smiled, always got up early and looked fabulous all day, the only difference between them and Lizzie is Lizzie has never been mean a day in her life.

"So," Elliot started, I knew he didn't want to talk about the gruesome stuff we'd been talking about around his youngest daughter, to him she was still in diapers. "You should get dressed, I've got some sweats upstairs if you need some, you need to get to the House, and I got a call thirty minutes ago, Dad's mad."

I couldn't believe Elliot had waited to tell me about Cragen, I couldn't believe Elliot had watched me sleep, but most of all I couldn't believe that I had begged for Elliot to help me. What else had I said? Elliot knocked on the bathroom door and handed me some of the unisex standard issue NYPD sweats that if you'd ever been hired by the Police you had about a billion pairs. I felt stupid; I only wore both the pants and shirt if I was sleeping; now I truly felt like a victim whose clothes we'd taken as evidence. Was he trying to humiliate me? When I got into his car the worst part about today wasn't going to be watching my back and being stuck in the office all day but it was going to be stuck sitting across from Elliot while a billion different cops ask me about what Clayton had said, I knew IAB would be there, someone from the FBI, and for a fact John or Fin would have to take my statement, there for Don, and Alex, and any defense lawyer to read along with anyone else assigned to this case and knowing Cragen 60 people would be working around the clock on it.

"So," the half bald man repeated "He said 'I want to pull the knife out of my back that you used to stab me with and stab you over and over' correct?"  
"Yes!" I sighed impatiently he'd been the fourth today, the fourth interviewer but the second bald man.

"And… he wants to dump your body in the Hudson River?"

"Yes." I replied like a zombie

"And, wants to take prizes?"

"For the love of God YES! You have what I just said on recording right? Look it Baldy I don't feel like repeating this one more time so go listen to your tape recorder if you need reassuring, ok?"

"Liv!" Elliot called from his post as 'babysitter' "Chill out."

"Elliot, you're not the one with a target on your back."

Don saw the commotion and walked up to me, "Olivia, just close you eyes and take a deep breath."

I looked at Elliot, he knew why I wasn't closing my eyes, but I took the breath and got a nose full of Baldy's cheap cologne.

"Don, I can't take this much right now, I'm going to the cribs." I walked off with out an answer but could hear Cragen order Elliot to come with me, just what I need right now!

I took a seat on the bed closest to the door and waited for El to come in.

"Liv…" Elliot greeted once he saw me waiting.

I just stared at him, I didn't know what to say, not after this morning. He plopped down on the bed and looked at me; bags under my eyes, in baggy sweats that didn't fit, hair a mess and my face had 'scared' written all over it, I looked like a mess.

"Olivia," He repeated, "you okay?"

I continued to stare at him, I sighed and decided to tell him about Gassette, about 'teaching me a lesson'

"Elliot, you know he's probably going to rape me," I whispered shutting my eyes and I heard the infamous rattling noise.

"What?" Elliot turned towards me, all his attention focused on everything I had to say, "what did he say?"

"Elliot, it's either that or having him torture me for hours on end, beating me to a bloody pulp." I had thought about him too much since that call.

"Liv, don't say that. Don't think of the negative just think about the good things like…" He chewed his lip for a moment, "Like next time he calls you the system will automatically trace the call and get his real location."

Yeah, I thought, Morales explained to me what his phone was doing, exactly the same thing Maria's phone did five years ago.

"El, I don't want to talk about me right now, okay? Talk about you, how's Kathy doing since last night? She must be scared out of her mind."

Elliot took a deep breath, "Eh, we got in a fight after you went to sleep. She blamed me for caring too much about you, she also didn't like 'being left out', well, right now I really don't care! She doesn't know a thing about Harris, she doesn't know about how we deal with crazies like Gassette all the time," Elliot laughed, "You know how when he called you started begging for forgiveness? That didn't seem weird to either of us but to **her** she thought you were crazy. She couldn't even keep her dinner down when she figured out what the prizes were. She wants me to quit. She said that eleven years of this should be enough. She gave me an ultimatum." Elliot shook his head and mimicked Kathy's nagging voice, "It's me or the job, you can choose, I don't want your answer now but I'll be expecting it soon!"

"Elliot, I'm sorry." I whispered even though I was jumping for joy in my head, "I wish I could tell you a secret that no one except me knows, I wish I could let you in to everything and have you know all about my many problems but this one little secret is keeping you from knowing the true me, the true Olivia Benson." I didn't know where that came from, I just started to talk.

"What?" Elliot was just as confused as I was.

"What do you think about me, Elliot?"

"Well, you're my best friend. Olivia, you are the strongest woman I know, you're one of the boys and in my brutally honest opinion," Elliot smiled a big toothy grin, "you're the most beautiful woman I know, you're not stuck up and the friends Elliot and Olivia never argue, the partners do. I think back to '99 and man, you've changed a lot since then. You are the same Liv but some how you've become more than Detective Olivia Benson to me, you became Olivia my rock and I know it's silly to say but you're the only person I could ever open up to like this. You understand me in only a few words and your eyes do the rest of the talking. You're my everything Liv and when you talk like you're sure Clayton is going to murder you it kills a bit of me."

I stayed quite for a few moments just taking in his words, you are my everything. "Elliot, I love you."


	8. Chapter 8

Elliot just stared at me for a moment, normally it would've been an accident for those four words to just slip out but I just wanted him to know that he was my everything too, he'd been my everything for eleven years and hopefully longer if he chose the job over Kathy.

"Elliot…" I rubbed his shoulder. Suddenly his lips collided with mine, he was breathing hard out of his nose and his warm breath felt welcome on my cheek, his tongue softly tussled with mine as he put his hand on my back to support me.

"Olivia," He said after his sudden, welcomed, out burst "thank you for saying that."

I smiled, "I wish I would've told you that eleven years ago." I welcomed this amazing distraction because it was better thinking about Elliot's touches than what Clayton would do.

"So," I suggested, "what now?" I didn't have a preference for what he would say I just wanted him to talk to me.

"I have no idea, how about sleeping for a bit, I don't think you got a good night's sleep last night."

I obeyed and got between the fuzzy wool blanket and the plastic mattress as Elliot sat on the cot over just being with me.

_Darkness surrounded me as I tried to feel around for a light switch. *Click* I flipped one on and I was in the crime lab, Elliot's eyes had bags under them as he was taped to the chair. _

_ "Mmh, mmh!" he tried to warn me and Stuckey appeared with a gun. I didn't know what to do and instantly was surprised._

_ "No! I want him to watch," I pulled the man towards me with my eyes closed and kissed him when, I opened my eyes it wasn't Stuckey I was kissing it was Harris and we were in the basement. I quickly pulled away and he beat me, "Ooh!" I exhaled, I ran away as I always do but this time I was banging on the door that led to the upper levels of the prison,_

_ "No one will hear you bitch." He brought me back down the stairs and threw me on the bed, quick to chain me to something, I was trapped and I knew what he was going to do next._

_ "NO!" I scream because just maybe he'll stop, "Oh God, no, stop it!" I could actually feel him ripping away my clothes, I could feel him slowly taking away my pride, my dignity, and slowly making me a victim, "Elliot!! Help me, please help me."_

I was suddenly roused from my sleep and I saw Elliot's eyes, "Liv, Liv, Liv, wake up, Liv!"

I sat up and took a look around, I was safe in the cribs but my clothes were soaked and so was the bed.

"Olivia! Shh, it's okay, it's just a nightmare, it's just a bad dream!" Elliot was rubbing my back, I had to hand it to him, he did have 5 kids and 4 of them probably made him check for monsters and then he had to calm them down after a bad dreams about those same monsters, Eli would get there soon enough.

"El, I'm sorry" I wiped my face and ran my hand though my hair, "I'm so, so sorry."

"Liv, it's fine, everything's ok. I'll go get you some clothes, just wait here."

Elliot left and I laid back, I could feel Harris ripping away that orange jump suit, I could feel the cold metal, I could hear his panting as he 'went to work', that was probably the worst dream so far. I was turned away from the door but quickly flipped over when it creaked open, I expected it would be Elliot but instead it was Fin. I should've been pissed that Elliot had talked to Fin about Harris.

"Olivia," Fin whispered, "I heard you were…dreaming." I could hear Fin spit out the last word, "What happened, last time we talked about it you said you hadn't had a dream in a long time."

"Well," I sighed, "It was just flashbacks then last night when Gassette called it all came back, the sounds, the feelings, everything that went on and I had the worst flashback ever and last night was the first nightmare in a long time, then just a few minutes ago and now I don't want to go back to sleep. Gassette told me everything that he was going to do, when he said he was going to rape me it all just came back, all of my close calls, all of my stressful memories, Stuckey was in my dream just now."

Fin scoffed, "That damn bastard. Look Liv, I'm sorry and I can't think of anything to say other than that. I blame myself for Harris attacking you I was supposed to have eyes on you every second of the day and…I'm sorry."

I was going to answer but Elliot came in with some sweats, "Hey, I got these from your locker so they should fit better." He smiled and then they left for me to get dressed. My sweater stuck to my back and it felt good to get out of my soaked clothes. I stretched and took deep sigh, I wanted to get out of this building but I knew that wouldn't happen, maybe I should go back to my desk.

Paper work from last night, need I say more? I worked for an hour, wandered around the bull pin for an hour, wash, rinse, repeat. My desk phone rang so I picked it up, "Special Victims Unit, Benson."

"Olivia!" The voice cooed, it was Clayton, "I'm surprised they're letting you talk on the phone."

I sat down and snapped my fingers above my head to get people's attention, "Clayton!" My mouth went dry, I had nothing clever to say, nothing interesting to taunt him with.

"My sweet, your time is coming so close I can hardly wait. I've got a nice room set up for…our wedding night."

"I thought you said the engagement was off? That's what it said in your note." I wasn't at the top of my game and he could tell.

"Oh sweet Olivia, so naïve, don't you remember you said it yourself, I need to teach you a lesson."

I swallowed, I was too damn tired to fight with him on this and it didn't help that everyone was watching me, "Oh, right."

"What's wrong, love? Cat got your tongue?"

"Something along those lines."

"No worries, we'll be together soon enough!" He hung up again and I was sitting there wondering did I blow it? I was swarmed with people asking me what he said, I wanted to close my eyes but all I saw was Stuckey and Harris.

"Liv," Elliot whispered to me though the prying questions of everyone else, "just write it down."

I wrote our quick dialogue and gave it to Cragen, "Please, Don, I don't want to talk to anyone else now."

I went back to the cribs and slept the rest of the day. The next morning I woke up, well it wasn't exactly the morning it was 4:00 pm. I had slept all day. I walked out of the cribs and into the squad room, Elliot stood up and he couldn't help but smirk at the way I looked, my hair was crazy. I laid my head on my desk, "I need a toothbrush." I moaned, I felt like crap.

Elliot opened his bottom drawer, "Got it out of the car last night, your clothes are in your locker. I took my toothbrush and the toothpaste and went straight to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and ran my fingers though my hair trying to make it look decent. I finally gave up and headed to the lockers to change. When I was done I looked okay. It was getting close to quitting time and Briscoe snuck out early to be with his new fiancée and pretty soon it was just the detectives on my case, Munch, Fin, Elliot, and Cragen. All I could basically do is sit and wait, I couldn't work my own case it would get thrown out, well if there was going to be a case all we had was a bunch of threats.

"Elliot," I called his name and his head shot up, "is it really just Tuesday?"

Elliot smiled a sad smile, "It feels like Thursday." Elliot sighed, he looked worse than I did, he hadn't slept since Sunday, going on no sleep sucks.

I spent all night at my desk, reviewing old files and sneaking a glance at Elliot now and again; I kept thinking about his kiss, the way he was so gentle yet so spontaneous. Wednesday morning crept up slowly, I'd woken up with a case from '99 stuck to my face, at least I didn't drool on it. The afternoon was slow, we'd gotten the results back from the 'rumba' they found under my couch, it was actually a sound recorder and had been in my apartment since late October. The techs told me what was basically on it; a bunch of one sided work conversations, the audio to a show or movie, usually interrupted by a phone call--from work--and maybe the occasional date, which made me think, why Dean? If he'd been listening to my dates since October (which was a total of three, not including the Dean set-up) why did he choose Dean, I knew for a fact I'd gotten a lot farther with the other men than Dean.

After the 'rumba' analysis we tried to think about where I met Gassette which was kind of hard because I didn't know what he looked like. We had hit a dead end until 7:30 when he called again.

"Benson." I spat into my phone, half knowing who is was already

"Why are you so cold? You should really open up and let your true colors show." Clayton chuckled.

"Clayton." My fake enthusiasm wasn't convincing but I didn't care.

"So, my love, are you ready?"

I looked across my desk to Elliot, he was the only one in the room, Cragen was in his office, "Ready for what?"

"Oh stupid bitch," Clayton spat into the phone, I could tell he was getting violent, "For our wedding night! It's getting closer, I can tell."

"It's too soon though." I swallowed the lump in my throat

"Nonsense! It's never too soon."

I looked at Elliot, I didn't know what to say next so I decided to push his limits, "What if I don't what to go with you?"

"IT WAS NEVER YOUR FUCKING CHOICE BITCH!" Gassette scream into the phone, Elliot could hear it, he was so loud that his voice echoed though the vacated squad room. Elliot looked at me and signaled me to end the call.

"ANSWER ME BITCH!" Elliot heard that too.

"I'm sorry." I whispered

Gassette seemed to be calmer when he said, "You better be." then hung up.

Elliot pursed his lips as he tried to break the awkward silence after the call, "So, want to talk about Monday?"

I looked around, "Not here, I want to but, not here."

Elliot stood up and grabbed his coat, "Ok then, let's go."

I followed Elliot out the door blindly, I'd follow that man anywhere. We got into the car and drove until we found a place far away from the precinct. We ordered our food and a pint of beer we eventually got onto the topic of the kiss,

"So, Liv, Monday." Elliot started

"I said I love you and you kissed me, your turn."

"My turn?" Elliot pointed towards his chest, "You said I love you and instead of saying it back I wanted to show you how I felt. Would you believe me if I said I was bad with words?"

I smiled at him, "I'd believe you if you said you had purple hair, I trust you El."

We started to just talk like normal,

"Do you know when I first started to realize you were much more than a friend? You had been working on a case for three days straight, you had looked like crap and I looked up from what I was working on and just thought to myself, 'has she always been that beautiful?' From then on I had to win you over."

I started to blush, "You're weird. You won me over from the minute Don introduced us, I knew you'd be my best friend and then I saw your wedding band and thought 'that's a problem' but in the end I'm glad I didn't break you all up."

Elliot smiled and rubbed my hand, I excused myself to go use the restroom before desert got to the table, we were going to share a chocolate-chocolate cake, I really needed some sugar. I hurried to the bathroom and luckily no one was there. I walked into the handicapped stall and I heard someone walk in. It might've been the paranoia but I swear the person didn't go into a stall but fiddled with the door instead. I blew it off and flushed the toilet. Walking over to the sink I was alone so I shook my head to get rid of all the lingering thoughts. I pulled the paper towel out of the dispenser and dried my hands when I turned to open the door the handle was jammed, _it's just your imagination, things like this happen all the time just jiggle the handle_

The stall closest to the door flew open, "Olivia!"

It was Gassette. I banged on the door and fiddled with the handle more, I wasn't going to be taken by him, I wasn't going to let him make me a victim. I took a look at him for a quick moment, he had sandy hair and piercing green eyes and I still didn't know where I knew him from. Thinking quickly I threw the trash can at him which he dodged, I scanned the room for a window but there was none.

"Oh come on Olivia, don't you want to marry me?"

I shook my head and tried to yell, Clayton thought fast and pinned me against the wall. I felt a needle prick and then lights out.


	9. Chapter 9

**So this is the Christmas Eve fan fic. sorry it's up so late! I just got home from the g-rents, my grandpa's a deacon so we sat in the front of the church and tried to get him to smile, he's a serious one that Arden :) **

*Elliot's Point of View*

Olivia had been in the bathroom for awhile which made me think the worst. I flagged our waiter and asked to see the manager, the kid looked scared but I didn't feel like telling him I wasn't going to complain about him.

"Yes, sir?" The manager came over, she didn't look a day over 22

"I was just wondering if there is a hold up in the woman's bathroom, my friend went to the bathroom more than fifteen minutes ago and she hasn't come back." I tired to keep my cool and tried not to remember Gassette's voice as he told he she didn't have a choice, had I been stupid enough not to notice a tail here?

"Oh," the manager sighed, "of course, can I just get you name and see some ID?"

I had no clue why she wanted to see my ID but the only thing I had on me was my shield ID and I didn't want her to think I was being a nosy cop. So I rummaged though my pockets reluctantly pulling out my ID, "Sorry, it's the only thing I have."

The manager looked impressed, "Ok Detective Stabler, I'll go check for you." She winked at me and I realized she was just flirting, too bad she didn't know I had a daughter older than her it would've saved her some time.

Five minutes later the manager ran over to my table, "Detective, there's blood on the sink!"

I couldn't move and just stared at her, "Like… how do you know it's my…"

"Well there was a huge line and I asked the girl in the front how long she'd been waiting and she said twenty minutes!" She was hyperventilating now.

"Ok, ok, calm down just don't let anyone in there it's a crime scene now." I pulled out my phone as the girl dashed off to the restrooms, "Don, Liv's gone."

I gave Don the address and he was soon here with what seemed like the whole unit, a billion CSU techs and everyone important from One PP. People started to look at what was going on, people started to congregate near the bathrooms and that's when it set in, Olivia, my Olivia was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! I really didn't expect this chapter to fall on Christmas day but... o.O so sorry "/ **

*Liv's POV*

I woke up with a horrible headache, what ever Clayton drugged me with had some nasty side effects, but that wasn't the most important thing at this time. I looked around the room, the walls were an ugly, gloomy shade of grey and the bed was the only thing in here. I didn't want to admit this to myself but I was scared for my life, this was the one time this whole situation felt real.

"Olivia," Clayton's raspy voice greeted as he walked though the door, "you're awake, good!" Clayton seemed in a good mood but I didn't have anything to retort. Clayton came beside the bed, "Comfy?" As if he cared, "You'll need to be." Clayton pulled out a syringe and gave me something; I could tell it wasn't as strong as before because it took awhile for me to fade away.

I woke up and was instantly cold, I wanted to gag when I realized he had taken my clothes off, _Oh God, he's going to rape me now._

I had given up on Elliot and the guys finding me, I was going to be raped and murdered, by tomorrow I'd be another Jane Doe on a slab in the morgue. It wasn't long before Clayton came in, he must know when I wake up, I closed my eyes and prayed it was just a dream, I didn't believe there was a God, but if there was where was He now?

"Well my love," Clayton walked over to the bed and slapped me across the face, "That was for being a cheating bitch!" He put his hands around my throat and gently started to squeeze

_PLEASE GOD!_

Clayton had set up a camera; I didn't even want to think about why he was taping me, probably to send to Cragen. I didn't want anyone to see this.

The next hour was filled with screams, and pleads to stop. The more I fought back the more I got beaten. He would constantly ask me 'if I liked that' or 'does it feel good' he would keep repeating 'this is what you're missing out on you lying whore!' I felt ashamed, he made me do everything imaginable and when I resisted the beatings were horrible.

"Smile at the camera bitch," Clayton finally said, "so Detective Stabler can see your pretty little face." Clayton had taken the camera off the tripod and zoomed in on my face, where most of the beatings occurred, as far as I knew I could've had a concussion, "So, Detective Stabler, see how your partner is? You know what happens next." Even his taunting scared the crap out of me; I know what happens next, the morgue.

He put the camera in my face like he wanted to talk, what's the worst that could happen if I did? I was already in hell, "El, help me." I whispered but made sure he could read my lips.

He clicked off the camera, "Good, Bitch." He left the room with out tying me up again, I curled up and started to cry myself to sleep, the only good thing was he used protection.


	11. Chapter 11

*Elliot's Point of View!*

It was past midnight and we'd gotten no where on finding Liv, "Where the hell is this bastard? We don't know how long he's going to _keep_ Liv! We don't know what he's doing to her right now, why the hell can't we find him!? Didn't we track all his calls?"

"Yes, Elliot, but his signal was bouncing all over Manhattan, just like Maria Recino's did back in '05. We can only find her if we get a hit on the BOLO. I'm sorry, Elliot."

Sorry doesn't cut it, my head felt like started to feel dizzy and the room grew hotter. I went to go lay down in the cribs. I must've needed the sleep I slept for ten hours. Maybe it was the fact that I gone so long on such a low amount of energy. I ran my hand though my hair trying to tame it and straightened my shirt, ready to get back to work. Walking into the bull pin felt like being punched in the gut. There were pictures of Dean's dead body, all cut up, and all looking pitiful. I felt even worse when I saw a teddy bear on my desk, "Fin!" I called and pointed at the stuffed animal.

"Came for you a while ago, don't know who it's from."

I sat down and looked for a card, nothing; and then I noticed the bear had a zipper on the heart it was holding I unzipped it and a small CD fell out with a note,

_Ahh, Detective Stabler, if only you were there last night. Your partner and I had a lot of fun. I've included a tape of what we did, have fun watching it. Don't worry, you'll see her soon._

Fin must've noticed the pained look on my face because he asked why, "Read this." I didn't want to watch the tape but I needed to, that was the only way we could find her, the tech geeks could be able to get some background noise.

Fin got Cragen's attention and he read the note. He led me into the conference room and set up a viewing system, he left and I played the tape. I knew Cragen would be watching though the one way mirror. It started out and Liv was cuffed to a bed, he came in and spoke so low I couldn't hear, he stuck a needle in her arm and she slowly drifted away. I watched the rest of the hour and a half tape (which kept switching from different angles, one seemed to be in the corner of the room and the other on an actual camera) though half open eyes. He stripped off he clothes and beat her, while she was asleep, then he left and she woke up again soon enough he was back in, he came up and slapped her which made me wince. He began to rape her and that's when I had to pause the video for a moment, it was hard to watch but I had to. She kept saying stop, she kept screaming for help but no one heard her. I played it again and he soon stepped out of framed, fiddled with the camera and zoomed it in her bloody face, "Smile at the camera bitch so Detective Stabler can see your pretty little face." His voice was filled with hatred, "So, Detective Stabler, see how your partner is? You know what happens next."

He put the camera right in her face and she whispered, "El, help me." The tape when black for a moment and switched back to the wall camera I heard distinctly, "Good Bitch." and then a door slam. The rest of the tape was her crying, sleeping, waking up then crying again. I couldn't stand to see the rest of the tape so I turned off the TV. I stood up and my legs wobbled underneath me. I told Cragen I was going to go home for the night, the worst had happened and all I could do was pray to God that we'd find her in time. When I neared my neighborhood I realized I hadn't given Kathy my answer and I hadn't been home since Liv was taken. It was going be awkward being in that house. Ten minutes later I walked though my door. Dickie was on the T.V playing Call of Halo or something like that, Lizzie was sitting at the counter doing homework and playing with her phone and I assumed Eli was getting a bath.

"Dad," Dickie paused his game and tossed the remote aside, "you look like hell!" I embraced Dickie and didn't let go, I missed him and everything familiar. Lizzie was stopped a few feet back, probably scared out of her mind. No matter how bad of a day I had at work, no matter how many hours on end I stayed there I never looked this bad coming home. After hugging Dickie I clasped Lizzie, the smell of her hair set me at ease, it was the same scent she'd been wearing forever and it made me think back to when things weren't so bad. "I love you, kids." I sauntered over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, it had been only a couple of days ago that Olivia was fine and standing right where I was, but it had been here that Olivia and I both got those horrible calls. I didn't want to tell Liv what Cragen called about but he had received the gruesome pictures of Dean's hotel room, that man put up one hell of a fight. I heard feet coming down the steps in the front room and knew that in a minute Kathy would be in here yelling at me, I wasn't in the mood.

"Elliot," Kathy asked her voice more sympathetic than I thought it would be, "the kids told me you looked bad, what's wrong?"

I turned around to face her, and she looked like she'd seen a dead body for the first time. I looked dead, bags under my blood shot eyes, my knuckles torn up from where I'd punched a locker, a wall, and a door. Hell, she could probably see the stains on my cheeks from where I had cried from watching that bastard rape Liv.

I glanced into the living room and the kids weren't there, Kathy probably sent them upstairs so we could 'talk'

"Elliot, are you…okay?" She came closer and rubbed my shoulder, "you can tell me even if it is about **the** case."

I noticed how she said the case, the case as in Liv's case. She knew that if Liv was still ok I would be with her at the station or she'd be here. I sat down at the table and put my head down heads-up-seven-up style. I decided to tell her, trying to word it carefully, "Kath, besides me and the kids who are you closest with, and they can't be related."

Kathy thought about it for a moment, "I guess Kelly Rose, why?" I could tell she didn't like the way this was going.

"Now imagine seeing her be shot, seeing her at her lowest but then she's always regaining control with out anyone's help," I paused and she looked very confused, "Now imagine everything bad happing to her and watching this happening to her, and she's begging you for help and you can't even stop the bastard that's raping her!" The words just flew out of my mouth that the Kelly Rose analogy was gone when I said the word shot. I looked at Kathy and she looked horrified, she'd heard the same things I heard when Gassette called Liv the first time, and I just stared at her for a moment waiting for a reply, after nothing I whispered, "watching that damn video for an hour and a half and not being able to do anything," I was now just talking to myself trying to explain it out loud, "seeing her beaten face and hear her beg you for help, hear the perp taunting you, 'you know what happens next' and you can't even do anything for you best friend while she's crying her self to sleep and you can't even imagine that fact that you'd been with that person just the other day and the next time you see her she'll be in a body bag and the perp will probably get away, the tape didn't show his face, the crime scenes had been free of fibers and prints and they can't track that damn blue Chevy whose license plate you've memorized. RZFX-3768 NY." My voice was trailing off when I whispered '3768' one more time, "maybe she should've stayed in Oregon."

Kathy opened her mouth when my phone rang, it was Cragen, "Elliot, we've got a lead!"


	12. Chapter 12

*Still Elliot's POV*

"Elliot, we've got a lead!" Cragen shouted though the phone

I stood up, "What, did the tape have any clues to where she was?"

"Yes!" Cragen was excited and I could tell, "Harlem, 3278 West!"

I did the math in my head, 45 minutes from my house, it was an old abandoned recording studio, that's why no one could hear her screams and the weird camera angle, "I'll be there in 20, do you know if she's…" my voice was filled with pain, even I knew that.

"We don't know but I sure as hell hope so."

I smiled for the first time since Liv had gotten those flowers, "I'm sure of it. Like I said 20." I ran out the door, I heard Kathy call after me but I couldn't stop and fill her in. I pulled out the blue and red lights and turned on my siren then put the petal to the metal. I hate to admit it but I was at the address in 15 minutes, at least I made good time I'd been pushing the speedometer the whole way there. I was lucky that Fin and John pulled up almost two seconds after me and the street was crawling with unis, we were in there fast trying to find Olivia, room after room all clear then we reached a room that had a red light on top of the door and said stop when light is on. I swore I heard the word bitch.


	13. Chapter 13

*HAHA! It's back to Liv's point of view! You don't know what Elliot's thinking right now and PLUS it starts an hour before Elliot gets the call! Bahaha! I'm sooo mean ;-) Also, sorry about the chapters being really short, the story is completed and after this chapter there's only 3 more chapters but I'm writing another one and I'll make sure they chapters are longer, I swear on my honor as an EO shipper!*

I tired to get to sleep after when Gassette did to me but I couldn't, I could feel his touches, I could hear his breath as he panted like a dog, and when I cried myself into exhaustion my dreams were filled with his horrible face I would wake up crying again and then I'd literally cried my eyes out. I heard the door open and a violent tremor shook my body; he was here to rape me for the fifth time today. I felt so numb that I didn't react when he started to touch me which made him mad, he started to beat me more, it was the worse yet and I couldn't help but to cry out in pain. A sick smile was plastered across his face for the rest of the hour. When he was done he pulled out a knife,_Oh God, my time's over. He's going to kill me and no one has even gotten close to saving me._

Gassette slowly brought the knife up to my face, "Such a pretty little face, eh? A little blood would do it justice." He slowly cut my face from my eye brow diagonally to my left cheek bone, I wanted to yelp in pain but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, but I couldn't control my face as it winced, that was all he needed. He took a step back and 'admired' his work. He took the knife down to my lower leg and slit another cut along the back calf. Blood soon stained the mattress. I bit my lip trying not to yell. Gassette took my arm in his hand and by the shoulder cut a one inch line, blood started to drip. He slowly made his way to my stomach as he used the flat side of the knife to spread the blood around, he suddenly put the knife on tip near my navel he slowly applied pressure and it hurt so much! I hit the knife and sent if flying across the room.

"You Bitch!" He yelled, he was pissed. I had interrupted his precious silence.

When Gassette was turned getting the knife the door suddenly flung opened scaring me to death. I quickly tried to cover up what I could, these men where like my brothers and I was embarrassed for them to see me like this. Gassette didn't even give me a blanket. Fin had tackled Gassette and had him face down cuffing him. Cragen walked in the room and yelled, "Someone get her a blanket!" I saw a timid uni run out the door obeying Cragen; this was probably his first raid. The uni came back quickly and Cragen covered me up, John led me out of the room and into the waiting ambulance. John tried not to look at my face, I had a huge gash on my head.

I sat in the bus and John was beside me, we were just talking like normal friends except the topic was anything but normal.

"So," John paused choosing his words, "you, ok?"

I tired not to say anything heavy, "I will be after this is over. Thanks."

He looked at me weird, "For what? I didn't do anything. Case wise all I did was stand at the lab's door pressuring them to rush everything they gave us."

I smiled at him, "For not looking scared." I was talking about my face, the whole time we'd been talking he'd looked me in the eyes and I'd gotten a glimpse of my face when the nurse showed me where my stitches were and I didn't look pretty.

John patted me on the shoulder which made me jump, "Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"Neither did I."

When Fin brought Gassette out he didn't know I was in the bus and walked right past the open doors.

"You're dead, Bitch! Dead, do you hear me? Watch your back!" Gassette hollered at me.

"Shut your mouth dick wad! You told her that once and now look what happened to you, I bet you'll get the needle!" Fin shoved Gassette into the car and locked the doors, and then he walked over to us. "Liv, I'm glad your fine, and I use fine loosely."

After the all clear the Bus took off to Mercy for my medical examination. After all I went though I had 3 sprained ribs, a lot of bruising to my thighs, a black eye, and 3 permanent scars. Yippee for me, not to mention the nightmares I will have about this man. Elliot came into my room; I hadn't seen him since the raid. He'd been the one that kicked open the door and then he got out of the way, he just stopped there.

"Liv…"


	14. Chapter 14

***I'm in a really good mood, kind of...I have a head ache, but I just got a good idea for another fan fic so lets celebrate! Two chapters in one day, WOO-HOO!***

"Liv," Elliot took a look at me, I was a mess, my black eye had swelled and looked pretty nasty, it was nothing compared to the long stitch on my face and arm, "are you…"

I smiled at him, "Now I am."

Elliot walked over to the bed and sat down in the chair next to it, he took my hand and started to caress it, "Liv, I never said it back but…" Elliot smiled, "I love you Olivia."

I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted to get lost in his arms but something told me not to but ask about the kids, so I did.

"I scared them to death. I walked though the door and they looked like they saw a bloody corpse. Kathy acted civil but I knew she was just being a mom. I called home to tell them I was ok and Kathy told me to get a place for my stuff."

I rubbed his arm, it sucks not being wanted, "You know that your kids still love you though, they probably know that it was a some-what mutual decision, they know that you love them, look how you reacted when Dickie went missing, and when Kathleen needed help? They love you, who wouldn't?"

Elliot was about to reply when Alex came bursting though the door, "Olivia!" she sighed, "So, the rumors were true." Alex lowered her tone as she approached the foot of my bed, she looked horrified at me face.

"Rumors?" I questioned

"Well I heard a cop was attacked then murdered and then I heard the cop was fine and then I heard the cop was kidnapped and so after that many changes of story I just stopped listening to them. Today I got a file on my desk about a cop being brutally attacked then raped, I couldn't believe it when I saw your name as the complaint. I just wanted to let you know that he's in the tombs, remanded and charged with rape 1, stalking 1, two counts of assault 1, and…murder 1...plus I jammed him up with vandalism, just because." Alex added a smile as if she was trying to please me.

"So," I started, I wanted to ask about the murder charge but I didn't want to accept that truth, "Do I have to testify?"

"No, Cragen told me he sent Elliot a video of the…attack…all I have to do is show the video to the jury and then photos of the bathroom, the _body_ dump and play the tapes of the recorded calls and maybe call a witness or two and the jury will be begging the judge to put the needle in his arm."

"Who are you planning to call to the stand?"

"Well," Alex looked at Elliot, "could you testify?" Elliot nodded his head, "Then John, the manager at the restaurant you all went to, and Kathy heard the first call right, Elliot?"

Elliot pursed his lips and was hesitant to respond, "Yeah…why?"

"She's a civilian, if the first call was as gruesome as Cragen told me then Kathy will be able to explain to the jury what went though her head while hearing it, that's the only call we don't have recorded."

"Wouldn't it be hear-say?" I asked

"No, I'll just be asking her what she heard and how she reacted to it."

"Oh, okay." I could only manage to spit that out.

"Good, I need to go over the case notes and get my questions ready, I'm glad your safe now Liv. Don't worry, we'll nail the bastard to the wall. The tape was all I needed, the rest is gravy."


	15. Chapter 15

***I'm feeling nice today so maybe expect the last chapter later on tonight...maybe? ;-)***

Court day, Alex said the jury would be more moved it I sat near them and showed them my face, "No offence, but I want to create the feeling of 'look at what that hump did to her! How can you NOT convict?'"

I sat up front with Elliot next to me, he said he would hold my hands if I needed him, I knew I would. Court started with opening arguments, I wondered what lies Trevor Langdon would say about me, I hate him. Alex started, "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, imagine getting a big bouquet of flowers on Valentines day," a few faces smiled, "now you're reading the card," she held up the note I had gotten and read it aloud those smiles faded, "Imagine getting three phone calls from the same sender and having him taunt you, telling you how he was going to torture and kill you. Now I ask that you listen to the facts in this case and seek justice for the victim." Alex waved her hand in my direction and a few faces in the jury cringed.

I was wearing a short sleeve shirt to show case my stitches.

Trevor stood up and walked over to the jury just as Alex had done, "Very moving Ms. Cabot. Ladies, Gentlemen, my client has told me that he is innocent of these crimes. My client, I believe, is not a liar and I ask you to listen to the evidence and find him not guilty."

I nudged Elliot's hand, had he just heard what Langdon said? The trial started and Alex called John and the manager at the restaurant--Elliot decided he would rather sit with me than testify Alex didn't need him she could nail Gassette with just the tapes--then Kathy. Kathy had never testified before and I could tell she was nervous, she kept looking at me, at my eye and stitches. When Langdon started to question Kathy Gassette looked over to me and smiled. He smiled at me! He believed that he did NOTHING wrong and then SMILED at me? My stomach did 5 somersaults before I stood up, "I need some air." I bumped across a few knees and almost ran out of the court room, I needed some space between that creep and me.

I sat down on a bench outside of Part 17 and put my head in between my legs, my chest got tight, and tears started to stream. Elliot soon followed me he sat down next to me and rubbed my back until I calmed down.

"Liv, what's a matter?" Elliot cooed

I stood up and put my head against the cool wall then I turned back to Elliot, "I thought I could handle it, I thought I could go in there and watch the **whole **trial, I thought my hardest part would be watching the video."

"What happened?"

"He…h-h-he smiled at me. He looked towards me and smiled as if we casually saw each other on the street!"

Elliot stood and started to rub my back again, "Are you okay now, if you want we can blow this whole thing off. Lets go to lunch, get some coffee and just walk around the park. I'm up for anything. Alex can call us with the verdict later. Sounds good?"

I shook my head, I started to cry again but it was because Elliot was so understanding, "When Harris assaulted me," I swallowed a lump in my throat, "I thought that I didn't deserve to be here and I was at fault. I have no idea how to feel about **this**."

Elliot moved closer than before and whispered in my ear, "Wasn't it you that said the most important thing you can do when you're attacked is survive? Olivia, you're doing a lot more than survive. How many people come watch their whole trial and make it though opening arguments? They mostly leave and then come back for the verdict. If you leave now you'll be just like anyone else." I nodded my head but I wasn't sure for what, "Alex saw you leave, she wanted to know if you were okay."

I didn't know why but I hugged him, I buried my head in his neck and started to bawl, "I love you El." I wasn't sure if he heard but I felt good saying it.

"Elliot?" I voice from behind me called, it was Kathy. Something about her tone told me she didn't like the sight of Elliot holding me.

Elliot released me nonchalantly and patted my shoulder as I turned and wiped my eyes, "Kathy."

"Elliot, I just…" Kathy was hurt, why? She kicked him out of the house, if anything she should act as if she didn't care.

"Just what, Kath?" Elliot was pissed, he shuffled Kathy into a corner and started to talk to her, I could tell he was trying to smooth things over with her. I didn't care if he denied we were something I liked Kathy and didn't want to see her hurt.

Kathy soon walked over and mouthed 'sorry' then walked off, I could tell she meant it, "So, what did you tell her."

"Oh, that you just needed a hug."

"And that's it?"

"Well…and that she kicked me out and that she shouldn't care who I hug even if I am comforting them."

"So, how about that coffee?"


	16. Chapter 16

"So, how about that coffee?"

"Sounds perfect."

We walked out hand in hand, I'd never felt safer. We drove to Riverside Park and walked for a while before we stopped at a kiosk for coffee.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Elliot started.

"I don't know, these past few days have been so weird that I've forgotten what life was like before."

"Well, then talk about the future." Elliot raised an eyebrow.

"Take it away."

"I don't want anyone else," Elliot took a long swig of his coffee, "I love you."

I didn't know what to say so I wrapped my arm around his waste and brought myself closer to him, "I love you too Elliot." I was so happy in that moment, I felt like things were standing still.

"Liv, you're my best friend. I'd do anything for you."

I was still silent but squeezed his waste harder

"What's the thing you want most right now?"

"You, of course."

"But you have me, one hundred percent. Something that you want, that you've wanted forever."

I bit my lip, I would've told normal Elliot this, best friend Elliot this, but not boyfriend Elliot. But what's the different between them? I decided to tell him, "A kid. For a really, really long time. I've always wanted a child. A little girl. I want to call her Annabelle." I pulled Elliot closer but he resisted, instead he turned and faced me.

"Liv?" Elliot licked his lips, "Will you…please tie your shoe. It's really annoying me!" Elliot smiled

I looked down, my shoe wasn't untied, what the heck was he talking about? I looked back up, very confused.

Elliot had a huge smile plastered on his face, "You are so cute." He kissed me, when he pulled back he gently brushed some hair out of my face and started to play with my fingers, "Here," he quickly slipped a ring on my finger.

"What? What are you asking?" I couldn't believe it, we had only knew our feeling towards each other a week ago, I didn't mind the question but I still didn't understand his thinking.

"I'm asking you to marry me. Liv, we both agreed that we love each other and I just wanted to ask, I don't want anything to ever come between us. I should've told you how I felt when Kathy first left but I was too stupid to. I love you. I wish everyone knew that and I want you to marry you, Liv you said yourself that you want a child, I want to give you that kid. I don't why but I just can't stop saying it, I love you Olivia Benson."

I was stunned, I tried to gather my thoughts, "The ring, you…"

"It was my mothers, she gave it to me when my dad died, I never wanted Kathy to wear it, it was too special. I want you to have it, even if you say no."

"Why would I be stupid enough to say no?" I kissed him, not giving him enough time to think about what I said, "Yes, Elliot, I want to be Mrs. Stabler!" I smiled a genuine smile, my mouth felt tired of the constant scowl that was painted across my face and it welcomed the smile.

"I love you Liv."

We got a call from Alex two days later that that jury had come back with a verdict.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, have you reached a verdict?"

The foreman stood, "We have your honor."

The bailiff took the piece of paper that held the verdict to the judge who nodded and gave it back.

"On the soul count of the indictment who do you find the defendant?"

My stomach was in knots, I squeezed Elliot's hand, "We find the defendant Guilty on all charges."

I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, I stood up smiling and kissed Elliot! I didn't care who noticed, John and Fin had already found out and same with Don. I had told Alex over a glass of wine last night.

"We did it!" Alex exclaimed and quickly turned her attention back to the Judge.

"Sentencing will be held two weeks from today, I thank you Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, you may be excused."

I looked over at Clayton who glared at me, "Bitch! You'll pay for this!"

I ignored his hollow threat and hugged Elliot, after I talked at his sentencing hearing he'd get the needle so he couldn't hurt anyone else.

"Thanks Alex, thank you so much."

"Olivia, I think the jury was bought as soon as they saw you, then Langdon said Gassette was innocent? I'm just glad the tape didn't make anyone vomit."

"Olivia," Trevor Langdon walked up to us, "I'm so sorry."

"For what? You defended Gassette, you didn't have to."

"I'm sorry for what he did to you, as soon as I found out Alex had a tape of the 'incident' I knew he'd get convicted. I was just doing my job, I had to give him a fair trial."

"Thanks, for everything." I smiled and touched his hand with my left one.

"Oh, congrats." He said brushing his finger along my ring, "Stabler, that was long over due." Langdon chuckled and walked away, Elliot just kissed my forehead and mumbled, "Don't I know it."

For once everything was fine, I felt safe, I was engaged, I had a wedding date (March 26. 30 days away), and everything was fine with the world!

**The End**

**I hope you liked it, I'm debating on a sequel or not, I've got a good plot but I'm not sure. o.O Happy New Years I hope your 2009 was what you wanted it to be! **


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